I needed a bit of time to collect my thoughts...the weekend was a dream...think happy thoughts and it does happen:)
My new riffle (sorry no pics) is gorgeous, the walnut stock looks like it's on fire in a few spots, the mauser action works so slick that it puts a grin on my face just to think about it.
I loaded all my ammo, shot 150 rounds on Sunday and the groups were ok, we think it will just take some time to find the right load than this beauty will shoot as good as it looks.
To get specific for those that care the rifle is a Chezka Zbrojovka (CZ) 527, Varmint in .223 with a walnut stock.

Juno

well another kooky movie if I may say so, Ebert rated as the "best movie of the year"
hmmmm....interesting

I read this on Jonathan Carroll's blog and hoisted it since it rang home in so many different ways. Not sure if I agree/disagree with it it just seamed like something I should have in this spot of mine.

THE STORY OF A MARRIAGE "A lover exists only in fragments, a dozen or so if the romance is new a thousand if we've married him, and out of those fragments our heart constructs an entire person. What we each create, since whatever is missing is filled in by our imagination, is the person we wish him to be. The less we know him, of course, the more we love him." Andrew Sean Greer, THE STORY OF A MARRIAGE

Little Miss Sunshine

May I say that it reminded me of growing up with a huge family. Made me remeber the things that should never be forgotten. Being a kid. This was in a weird way a feel good movie.
Just thought I'd share that:)

I'm slacking here, forgetting all about my blog here and I soooo need to write about anything:)
I just walked into my place, feel wired like the whole adrenalin of talking about wine the whole day has not quite drained away. I plan what I'm going to say tomorrow, how I'm going to present the same thing in a different light to a different person....
All this planning and I'm kinda fly by the "what ever the term is" person.
Makes me a bit stressed out to think this way.

More news: my new riffle, present from my great boyfriend is going to be here on Friday/Saturday, Yayyyyy!!!!!!

Plutoniates are playing in Neenah tonight!!!!!
It will be a great show, I can't wait to see them and hear them and have a few drinks with Ross:)
Pictures to follow, this time I'm bringing my camera.

my horoscope for today amongst other things said this:

"Acknowledgment of your feelings is a necessary part of life, even if their expression doesn't always fit neatly in your schedule."

I have to chuckle, because that is sooo right on :)

Thank you

this one goes to my wonderful man
thank you for putting up with my jealousy
my crabby pants
my sad concerned looks
thanks for the hugs and kisses
you light up my world
I love you

"confidence is sexy to us" said Pitto a while back.
hmmmm
I find myself lacking of it at times, lacking the confidence that I think I should have.
Maybe it's just fear? For the first time in more than ten years I feel like I've got something to loose and I feel vulnerable and that in my case brings the lack of confidence. Not attractive at all.
I try not to talk about it, because it really is just me, and that feels wrong because it is affecting both of us.
Than again maybe that is just it, the fact that it has been just me for so many years and all those feelings were packed away neatly in the back room somewhere.I was the confident woman because that was the only way to be, the only way to survive, there was no room for weaknesses and fears in that old girl. I find it hard to find the balance now...between the tough strong confidant woman and the feelings of loving somebody, trusting them, letting them in. It's hard, but that isn't going to stop me from trying. Life is too short for what if's. I also know that loving somebody doesn't mean I can't be both confident and loving. I just get so pissed off at myself that I can't control the damn emotions.
Maybe you're no supposed to control them anyway?
Than again fear has never stopped me before, maybe made me be more cautious.

than again

snow storms in spring can be soooooo much fun!!!!!!

I'm cold....has anybody noticed that the temperature has dropped 30 degrees in less that 3 days?!!!!!
I love Wisconsin. I love Wisconsin. I love Wisconsin.
But spring hello? I need warm weather like now. Maybe some sunshine too.

I realized that having this in the previous post had no place as I truly did have a great weekend. Sometimes I have this long conversations with myself and this would be just one on the long list of those. Thoughts are not really directed at a specific thing or a person just a general feeling that I get. Doesn't mean I'm happy or unhappy.
Things sometimes just are...Things sometimes get confusing and we say and do things that are mostly regretted afterward, but they're said and done. Sometimes you can't take the hurt away, once it's out of your mouth it out there and sits and gnaws at the membranes of your brain. Asking what if? Fuck that! there is no what if! Only the stuff we make together, or on our own, the possibilities are endless just have to concentrate on the good ones:)
Ok so I think too much and about things that are way out there sometimes, but witting them down somehow puts them at peace...so is this topic of conversation being put to rest.

The End

Sunday at the range

Here is a peak in my past weekend and the fun I've had, hope you enjoy.

P.S. Pitto if you click on the photos it will give you more info on the guns we were shooting.

In responce to Jade's e-mail "what is love"

here is just one of the comments of these youngsters and their thoughts about love...

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

Rebecca- age 8


"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4


"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)


These make me think of the time a few years back when I went home to Bosnia and saw my sister and her husband looking at each other. It was like there was no air between them just the looks that did it all. I remember thinking " now that's love...I want that!"

Guess what?I think I've got it:)

Things have been hectic in Jenna's world. Crazy busy. I'm in love, so much that I get scared, I guess that's normal though....
I live for Fridays and weekends as those are the days I get to spend with him, wake up next to him, or just simply cuddle. Than there is the rest of the week, where I get to be this "city girl" to the core. I work , work, work. Eat out, barely get to spend time at home so when I do get to the weekend I can't wait to cook some food, pop a movie in, cuddle up and oh yeah pass out on the couch and snore. Hey I've had a busy week!
Be it as it may, I still manage to read a few books , thanks to cell (mobile) phones I can stay in touch with all my friends that live so far away. I use over 2000 minutes a month plus my land line as a back up. Girl likes to talk, and yes I soooo mis my buddies from Sheboygan that it hurts sometimes. Last Friday I visited for a few hrs, a few Smitties ales and some wings with Ross, a bit of live jamming with Kurt ( no I just listened:) and than back on the road for a drive home.
I've realized something, in all this crazy busy life, I'm actually happy. I 'm in love and working out my personal boundaries of trust and love * shit they can be a bother sometimes, my fears* my work seams to be getting in the steadier waters or maybe I'm just more happy with myself and the work I'm doing. Don't know I just know I'm happy. I'm learning so much, being an adult is not so bad after all. Can't wait for the summer, warm weather, the motorcycle rides and just sitting on the porch and being lazy. Sometimes I wish I could get my blogger friends all in my living room, Jade, Suze and Gotcat would help me cook, Ross would be strumming his guitar and well Pitto would have a friend to talk about guns with in Sly. Did I mention the great wine we will have with this great feast? Yeah ok back to reality here, hope all my friends are doing well, if you need to chat meet me in my living room , say in a few hrs:)